CRITERION 11: ECONOMY (typical feedback: redundant, padding, too many words to say too little, formulaic, get to the point)
To download my handout on Economy in pdf, click here.

Your writing makes your thinking visible – whether you like it or not.  For economy in writing and thinking, you must use as few words as are necessary to get your point across; for clarity, you must use as many words as are necessary to get your point across.  Achieving one often comes at the expense of the other.  Finding that delicate balance requires you to cut all language that is redundant, empty, or obscuring. Start with George Orwell’s six rules, from “Politics and the English Language” (a really enjoyable and important read!):

1.     Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2.     Never use a long word where a short one will do.

3.     If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4.     Never use the passive where you can use the active.

5.     Never use a scientific word, a jargon word, a technical term, a buzzword, an overused theory word, a euphemism, or any pretentious diction, if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. [I modified this one.]

6.     Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.  

And then add these:

7.     Never pad your writing to meet a length requirement. It is usually better (and will usually get you a better grade) to hand in an under-length paper than a paper padded with extra words.  

8.     Reconsider sentences that use “interesting,” “important,” and “significant.”  If these appear in your essay, they are very likely (but not certainly) in sentences that are redundant wastes of words. We assume you have only included in your essay material that is interesting, important, and significant!

9.     Use your title wisely.  You’re writing in the twenty-first century, so you should think of your essay as one of many items being browsed online. Your title should make immediately clear, in succinct, unambiguous wording (see Precision page), the subject of your essay (i.e. the primary play, poem, or book being studied) and the approach you are using to deal with that subject. (And no puns.  See the Tone page.)

10.  No warm-ups or cool-downs.  Once the title makes those things clear, the introduction is free to jump right in.  Most of your introductory paragraph should be your thesis statement (see Depth page).  In a short essay, conclusion paragraphs should not simply repeat material (how short do you think my memory is?); they should open up further inquiry.

DON’T BE LUMBERGH.  If you want to sharpen your sense of (and disgust about) extra words, watch Mike Judge’s Office Space.  The villain, Bill Lumbergh, has an infuriating way of using to many words to say something simple (if he is saying anything at all): excess of wording is weakness of character.  It seems like he’s using extra words to try to be nicer—but he achieves the opposite effect, making bad news feel far worse:

Lumbergh version:                                                   

Milt, we’re gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into Storage B… So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK? 

Strong (because economically worded) version:

Milt, we’re moving you downstairs into Storage B.  Pack up your stuff and move it down there.

Lumbergh version:           

Hello Peter, what’s happening? Ummm, I’m gonna need you to go ahead and come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around nine that would be great, mmmkay?  And I almost forgot, ahh, I’m also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, ‘kay?  We, ahh, lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up.

Strong (because economically worded) version: 

Peter, come in tomorrow.  Be here around nine. Come in on Sunday too; we laid some people off this week and we need to catch up.

Most undergraduate humanities papers can easily be cut to half their length without losing any non-redundant meaning. Ask yourself continually whether you might use fewer words to communicate your thought clearly.  If you can, you must.  Refill the newly empty space with depth and complexity.